Brette's Answer: You should talk to your mom about this. In fact, it is your responsibility as the custodial parent to encourage her to go and help her work through her feelings. At other times, a child may feel bitter about the non-custodial parent's significant other. You need to get an attorney. The school counselor and police have told him that under Michigan law a 17-year-old cannot be forced to return. If you are on a personal connection, like at home, you can run an anti-virus scan on your device to make sure it is not infected with malware. Brette's Answer: It sounds like you need a professional evaluation of what is going on. He has previously used his own flesh and blood for sex for his buddies in the past. Is it hard to deal with school while going and back and forth like this? I have several suggestions for you. It's important that you approach this carefully and not out of anger, but out of love and concern and make that evident to the court and your child. We currently have shared custody and he is threatening to file for 50-50 custody. I have been ordered by the court for her to go, and gave my lawyer many items to support my daughter's reasons not wanting to. A child so close to majority usually has his preference followed. There are alternatives. However, since there is a custody order in place the other party has taken me to court accusing me of contempt and asking for immediate return of the minor child and for sanctions against me. Suz's Question: My son is 5 and has been going with his dad since he was 1. It's also very responsible of you to follow the court order - you don't want to find yourself in contempt of court. • A judge won’t be swayed by one parent’s argument that a toddler refused visitation. Above all else, courts in Michigan strive to make custody and visitation decisions that are "in the best interests of the child". Stress that you really want them to spend time together and say you're hoping maybe together you can come up with a way for your daughter to feel more comfortable at his home or with him. Brette's Answer: If you do not send your children on visitation, it is considered custodial interference which can be the grounds for a change in custody. I have to represent myself because I haven't found a lawyer who has time for our case. The court handling each individual visitation case has significant flexibility in determining what arrangement is in the child's best interests. A 16 year old may ask for a … If it's at all possible try to sit down with him in a neutral, no-conflict way and share your concerns. Specifically, MCL 712A.2 provides that the juvenile courts have power over a juvenile under 17 years of age when they desert their home. This is not at all abnormal. I worked with many families who were in similar situations to yours and I know how difficult and frustrating it is for you. Another way to prevent getting this page in the future is to use Privacy Pass. Cutting him out of your life completely is not the answer. I wish you both the best of luck. Brette's Answer: I think it is good to never give up on your child. A child can go to court to ask a judge for an order emancipating them from their parents at the age of 16. A parent may have a different role in making visits happen for a four-year old child versus a 14 year-old one. The legal age at which a young person can refuse to go to the other parent's house for parenting time is 18--even if you're not graduated from high school and your father has to continue to pay child support. I would suggest you try to find a compromise. I think it would be great if your mom could help you find someone to talk about this - maybe a counselor or therapist. Good luck. His father is not going to fight me for custody. Brette's Answer: No court is going to force a 17 year old to go on visitation if he doesn't want to. Over 14 years of age, a child cannot be adopted unless they consent. And you can focus on helping your daughter cope with whatever outcome you have by having her see a counselor who can help her work through her feelings about her dad. What are the chances he'll get visitation? Brette's Answer: I think it's terrific that you have made the effort to allow your daughter time with her father. Your daughter's opinion is important and a court will take into the consideration the opinion of a teen, but by itself it isn't enough. My ex then turned around and accused me of custodial interference. This leaves them wondering about the reasons for their resistance and what they can do about it. All rights reserved. These are the kinds of issues that need to be addressed. © 2001-2020 WomansDivorce.com. I think your attorney ought to be communicating the situation to your ex's attorney - that would be the easiest way to resolve this. Talk to your ex and explain to him how important these games and practices are and see if he might come down for them instead of taking your son to his house all the time. To have grounds to change visitation you've got to have some real facts and solid incidents that show he is putting her in bad situations. A finding of child abuse is significant and persuasive to the court. Would they benefit from a little more stability? Is it legal for a teen to choose if they want to go or not? Sometimes children go through stages where they don't want to go and have no good reason, but there could be a real problem. At that point, it is up to the child and parent to continue their relationship as they wish. Instead, I would suggest several things. Talk to your ex about the kinds of options I've suggested above. Instead of going to stay at his dad's house, what if he just had dinner with him or went to a sporting event one night a week or once every two weeks? He might have very specific things that bother him that could be changed, for example having to spend time with his dad's girlfriend or not being allowed to see his friends while at his dad's house. Depending on what the therapist says custody may need to be adjusted. If you have a written agreement that your daughter could choose to go or not, he doesn't have much to stand on to accuse you of custodial interference. Otherwise, he will take me to court. Your IP: 157.245.241.17 His lawyer said at the admit/deny hearing that it is their plan to lock me up at the hearing and pick up my daughters. He visits his Dad 6 weeks in the summer and one weekend a month. If you want a change, you need to show the court why the current plan isn't working and how a change would help the kids. You have to either find a way to work with him or a way to convince a judge that he is not fit to take care of her. A therapist can help both of you figure your relationship out. First of all, you need to know your daughter is not the first and certainly won't be the last teenager who disagrees with a visitation plan. Can I choose if I want to go to his house on the weekends or can he force me? I would also suggest you talk to the coach and explain the situation. By WomansDivorce.com | Updated May 29, 2019. Jill writes: Please give me some help and advice. Brette's Answer: Hi Mary. At what age can children choose to spend less time with their dad? Each state has different case law that indicates what kind of influence the child can have on the decision at various age ranges. My fear is that she won't run to family next time. The question here is how is your ex handling this? If you and your ex can work together and present a united front, it will help her get through it. Don't accuse and don't judge. Is he saying bad things about you or your boyfriend? State law determines the age at which a child can seek emancipation. All you can do is encourage your son to go.

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